Useless adaptation

I
I want the little bit of you that was never offered
the secrets you hold, the strength you pretend
I want to discover you and name you the capital of my country
and then I want to make a holiday
where everyone has to love
in our name.
Over all things
I want to shake the sand off of my shoes
and be able to pronounce the choking feelings in my throat
Not beliving has got me tied up
and you seem too busy to rescue me
This letter goes to the you
that I met in the past
please take me back
please don't ever let go of my hand again.
Today never exists
emptiness governs my veins
I keep on making unheard wishes
no guidance, no route, no destiny
I want the little bit of you
that was too stubborn to try
once upon a time, in a fairy tale existance.
I want it here
in this city of strangers and boredom
where I pretend to be adapted
and you pretend to never have cared.
write back
write back
say something
I cant go on.
anymore.


II
liar, liar, house on fire...


Dharma-inhibited reality

sometimes no instructions are necessary

to give your life a spin.



Round and round

this time the music

was self inflicted.



Come dance with me...I do not mind.....if truth is not in you.







Not anymore.


III
Contradicting myself


Am in the mood for believing
In the extinguished power of beating hearts
I can't offer much but will you listen
Will you conquer, will you heal me, will you try....

Am in the middle of nowhere making believe that I have you, I like the way it feels,
The lack of power when I find myself surrounded in your arms, I can't wake up.

Promise to keep this a secret, I brag a lot about always having control... but see, am no god, I'm inperfect, I was made of clay like you...

And am willing to break
And am willing to break
Am willing to fall down
If in the depths of the abyss I can find you
If among the darkness I can hear you
My blindness is temporal, my addiction unavoidable.

Am thirsting your lies, your flaws, your excess of ego. Am in need of your silent dissapproval, of your unconcious misconception, and overall, aching to mold your back with the tip of my fingernails...
If I survive your defects, your errors, your selfishness... I have the world to look forward to.

Its suiting that you love me, you see... I always though high of myself. Lesson learned. Please trust me, I suffered all that I deserved...every morning waking up next to your image, an illusion, mind's guilty hologram...
So I invite you to visualize reality one second
A less perfect universe
Something more of what the tv plays
Less of what your heart desires
So that once and for all I can be the superhero
Am willing to save you
It will be a quick rescue
No need for castles or dragons...

Run away, right now and forever

I'm speaking a language you'd never understand.